“When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like ‘what?!’”

Phil Dunphy

Elena Bennett does not like to sing her own praises. Over the course of a 15-minute interview for this biography, she referred to or denounced herself as the following: incapable of learning, talentless, hobbyless, ‘not very zen’, and a horrifically fussy eater. Elena’s positivity is channelled instead into the one thing she is not horrifically fussy about: cheese (being, as she admits, a ‘cheese-eating monster’). As such, it seems boringly predictable yet absolutely necessary that dubious cheese puns are crowbarred into her story henceforth.

Elena grew up in West Hampstead, but has spent much of her time elsewhere, having visited over 40 countries in her lifetime. Unfettered by tradition, she has only spent two Christmases in England, preferring to sleep with frogs during a Venezuelan beetle storm (fair enough). While she had as gouda time in Ethiopia as anywhere else, she also enjoyed her time in the Canaries, especially Tenerife, Las Palmas and Lanzarote. She’ll be damned if anyone disagrees with her on that (or will she brie damned? Either way, she camembert the thought of it).

Her looming adulthood meant it was time for university, but she only found herself ‘accidentally quite sciencey’. Still, to Newcastle she went. There, she did lots of yoga (/Jäger) and socialised exclusively with Northern people for reasons she was unable to rationalise.

And there you have it. There is hopefully, now that you’ve read, less ta know about our Elena.