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Phoebe Buffay

Abbie has a weakness for water; not the cute “I’m not myself around you” kind from the movies, but the “I’ll just sit in this canoe all day and get horrendously sunburnt because I can’t face getting in the water” kind that’s rarely seen in rom-coms. It’s not hard to see why though; on holiday as a teenager she managed to swim totally the opposite direction out to sea and had to wait on a rock for rescue. Sadly that rescue was not swift and she spent several years marooned, it’s a harrowing tale that was later appallingly plagiarised in the film “Castaway” so I’m sure you’ll catch the drift.

Back on dry land Abbie decided to continue growing up in the landlocked west midlands. She got into tinkering with bikes and cars, taking them apart and creating powerful bikes to screech round the neighbourhood, cursing water until the unstable engines could take no more. It was frankly reckless behaviour for a child and question marks over the legality of these modifications have prevented legal action against the producers of “Mad Max” who thought setting it in an arid desert would disguise the appalling plagiarism that once again followed her.

At school Abbie developed a passion for marketing and lived the dream studying business at Lancaster Uni. One day her lecturer left a particularly fiendish business problem on the blackboard only to find it solved the next morning to everyone’s amazement. It turned out to be the work of an incredibly gifted yet troubled janitor who turned down a dream job to travel to California. In fairness Abbie didn’t know him that well but it’s a hell of a story; someone should make a film out of it.

When her life isn’t tenuously imitating art, Abbie likes to explore new coffee shops around London (drinking latte’s like a semi-pro), drag her nephew along on runs kicking and screaming and make t-shirts from Will Ferrell movies (pretty old school). Her knack for taking things apart and rebuilding them stronger keeps her on top, always eager to learn and improve; and with her in the driving seat she’ll get your campaigns cruising along nicely.