[Cilla] And now, contestant number two - it’s our James from Winchester! Tell us James what do you do in your spare time James?

[James] Well Cilla, I love to play all sports, especially tennis, surfing, football and golf. I was also in the first unsigned band ever to achieve an official top 40 hit.

[Cilla] Wow! A sportsman and a musician everybody.

[Crowd] Oooooooooh

[Cilla] So James, if you were to take our lovely Joanna from Essex out on a date, what would you do to romance her?

[James] Well Cilla, I’m conversant in French so I would probably take her out for a nice French meal, perhaps a bottle of Bordeaux and then just as we’re getting cosy I might whisper something like ‘ce n’est pas les petits pois’ into her ear, all going well maybe she’ll voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir!

[Cillla] Ooh-la-laaaaaaa

Although we still haven’t been able to track the actual footage of James’ Blind-D-Date experience, we’ve always thought it probably went something like the above. Even though his French chat up lines are whiffier than a ripe Roquefort, we’re pleased he brought his 5 years of experience at Yahoo to support us here at Periscopix Towers.